4:08 am Tues.... I am feeling fuckin hardcore now. The sweating turned into the could sweats but now I'm sweating my ass off again. body cramps are at a 10 now. still can't stay still and don't want to move. I am also having unintentional hard arm and leg flexing. Now that is a bitch. The muscle just keeps flexing until it hurts and I notice. I can stop it but when I do it hurts like a mother fucker. I just want it all to stop and let me be normal again...well as normal as I was anyways. I am squirmy and uncomfortable along with annoyed
. It's so scary to do this. Every time I have a new symptom I feel my cheeks get flush and hot, my hair gets numb and a wave of fear like no other comes over me. I know that I am going to get through this straight up but I can why people can't finish this torture or don't want to try it. I have thought a couple times of stopping but I have an angel on my shoulder coxing me along. Like I said... I can definitely see why people don't want to do this cold turkey shit Grrrrrr this sucks. FUUUUUCK!!!!! my legs back, and hips are so sore it would almost be worth it to cut the bastards off. I mean... I would never but I would love to. the coldness from the blanket feels nice on my legs for the 5 seconds before they heat up again. I reminds my of being in an attic in the middle of the summer and the door is locked. I certainly do not feel as strong as I once did. This shit is getting to me... in a very harsh way. I think it is different for everyone in certain ways but why did I have to get satins way. I don't want to scare anyone away from getting clean...this is just what I have been feeling. You might feel some of this but I have some buddies said that it wasn't that bad. Well you at ya go ya lucky bastards...because this is fuckin killing me man. More in a bit....fuckin hate this pain!!!