Baaaad day for me.

It is Fri/April/4.... I had one of the worst days yesterday that I ave had in a long time. I was sooooo lethargic just totally drained. I would walk out to the kitchen and back and I would be out of breath....crazy. My chest has been having some pains but I think that is due to the stress that I have been under... losing my job the other day and like 500 other things LOL. I did feel like I was having withdrawal symptoms for sure. I think the stress probably just exacerbated them. I am feeling pretty good today and feel like I am getting some sort of weird strength from inside my body. I know it sounds crazy but it is the easiest way I can describe it lol but I definitely feel it. I still can't believe how worth this whole craziness and pain has been. If you want to do it yourself...STOP FUCKIN THINKING ABOUT IT AND DO IT!!! You have to because it is better then any high you could imagine.... yep it sounds like bullshit and very corny because you always hear people say that. I swear on my life... it's the truth. Again thank you to all of the people that have supported me. You are and will always be deep in my heart.

I can feel the strength

I am feeling pretty good today and can feel my strength coming back (mind, body and soul). It is such a great feeling and can't wait until I am me again. You just have to keep your head up and your eye on the prize. It's crazy to me when I think about where I was last year and where I am today. If you are thinking about getting off of these evil lil pills or anything for that matter. Stop thinking about it and DO IT!! I am here and will help you get over it. Even if it means staying up with you when everyone else has gone to bed and the night drags.... I will be here!!! You can't give up and you MUST press on because it is soooo worth it. Life throws you curves that will slow you down but as long as your still moving forward YOUR STILL ALIVE!!! So keep going and I promise you will get there and trust me.... you will get there with a vengeance and nothing will ever seem impossible for you again. I just found out yesterday that I don't have a job anymore. I collected my thoughts, remembered what I just went through and have decided that there is something better then that bullshit job waiting for me out there. I know I will be happy in life because I will make sure of it. You can do it and when you do WATCH OUT WORL!!!!!

It's been a while

It is April/7/2010. It has been a while since I have had the chance to get on a computer as mine has had some crazy virus. It is all better now so I am back lol. Anyways......I am now doing really good with all of the withdrawal symptoms. I still feel as if I have a bit of a flue, My muscles are still a bit achy and my sleeping habits are still a little out of whack and I don't have a tone of energy yet but it is all coming back slow but sure. I have to say, the things that have come back to me are incredible. I actually want to get out of the house when I wake up in the morning (or at lunch LOL). I am bound and determined to start running so I have been going for longer and longer walks around the neighbourhood. I will eventually start jogging once I can walk a few blocks without huffing and puffing. I have also made up my mind about not taking any other kind of medication from doctors aaaaaaaaaand I wont be taking any of it!!!!! I now do NOT trust the pill pushers that we trust and call doctors. I am going with mostly all natural medicines. I have learned that most doctors around the world believe in more natural cures. I was reading something in a magazine that stated that the rest of the world is waiting for western medicine (chemical agents like pills) to grow up. It is all a huge money grab for the powers that be. Think about it.... how did they have a needle for the H1N1 virus after a month??? I thought the testing of a new product takes at least 10 years to make sure it's safe for the public. I find it Other then my cynical outlook of "doctors" everything is going pretty good. If you are thinking of getting off of Oxycontin's no matter what dose you are on. I would talk to your doctor first. Do not let him/her talk you into methadone!!!! There are different drugs that are non habitual that they can use. Or you can do what I did and use marijuana to help take the edge off and keep your appetite up. If you do use pot to get past the rough times be ready to smoke allot LOL. I was going through a half quarter a night and on the really bad nights I would smoke a whole quarter. That can run you some crazy money unless you have awesome friends like me that are willing to help you out with the green. I want to thank everyone for you encouraging words stories and funny jokes. You have all made a huge difference in my recovery and I don't know if I could have done it without each and every one of you. I will be writing more as time goes on and I feel better each and every day. THANK YOU ALL XOXOXO